Young relationship with the child – First love is something extraordinary for teens: the tingling in the stomach, the first sexual experiences, and the indescribable feeling of belonging to someone. However, this infatuation is put to a severe test if the girl becomes pregnant unintentionally.
Around 9,000 young women under 18 become pregnant each year in Germany, and only half decide on the child. While teenage mothers often come into the focus of media attention, there is little empirical material on young fathers or young parents.
Studies have shown that young couples who have a baby at an early age deal differently with this new situation: some young fathers are overwhelmed and leave the mother alone with the child. Other young men support their partners wherever possible.
A long-term study by the Federal Center for Health Education has found that young fathers are willing to take responsibility for their child: Of the 29 couples surveyed, half were living together two years after the child’s birth. In the other half, the young women had found a new partner.
Problems in a young relationship
Especially young parents under 18 years have to struggle with many difficulties. They are not only faced with the task of taking on responsibility for a child at an early age. Young women and men must continue school or their education so as not to jeopardize their prospects.
Above all, however, young parents suffer from the fact that they can no longer live up to their youth with a child. The meeting with friends, movie nights, and loud parties fall away for young parents in the early years. Not infrequently, the contact with the clique and the friends breaks off because of the different life plans.
Other problems: To get financial support for their small family, young parents often struggle through a government jungle. Also, the housing situation must be clarified: Is a private apartment in question? Does the young mother stay with her parents, or is a housing group an alternative?
And that’s not all: the young parents need to be aware of whether they want to continue living in this budding relationship. Not infrequently, young women become pregnant at the first sexual contact and wish, just like young men, still other partners.
Finally, further difficulties result from the new everyday life with a baby, with whom, by the way, parents who are older and live in a stable relationship also struggle. In the beginning, the focus is on the baby and the satisfaction of his needs. The nights are short, and the uncertainty of doing something wrong is excellent.
The symbiotic relationship of the mother to her baby and the influence of the hormones in a young relationship can provoke quarrels: the young men feel rejected in the relationship and often can not cope with the situation.
In these stressful situations, advice centers such as Pro Familia are neutral and unbiased contact persons. They draw on a wealth of experience and help the young parents a lot to give for the new life with her baby.
However, if the quarrel gets out of hand in a young relationship, separation should be considered for the child’s benefit.
Young relationship with a baby: support is important
A baby is always a test of endurance for a budding relationship. However, with help from, for example, grandparents and comprehensive counseling, the “Young Family” project is entirely feasible. A young relationship does not necessarily have to break these new challenges but can certainly grow.
Young parents must know that they are not alone in this situation. You will find contact persons at counseling centers such as Pro Familia, Caritas, Diakonie, and youth welfare offices.
With appropriate planning, young women and men can also make up their school leaving certificate or their education if, for example, the child goes to a daycare center.
If the growing relationship is established, it can also have favorable aspects to become a parent so early: Many young parents are more relaxed about their offspring. Another advantage shows up at the latest when the children are out of the house: The parents are in their early 40s, young enough to go on trips or even start again professionally.
- Young parents are struggling with many difficulties.
- Fear of the future, less contact with friends, exclusion
- A baby is a big challenge for all parents.
- Young parents should seek advice in case of problems.
- There are many offers of help for young parents.
- A breakup can be the right step.